UOttawa

Matters changed yesterday with the arrival of a package. It seems that while my mom was in Canada, one of the things she was doing was getting my portfolio together and secretly applying me to the University of Ottawa. Despite the fact that admissions deadlines had passed some time ago, I was accepted as a full-time student. If I choose to, I can begin attending classes in the fall. It would be for high school credits, so it would count as my senior year and I'd still be graduating in '08, but it's a great opportunity.

It isn't because of that alone that suddenly makes this a difficult decision. In order to make this a viable option for me, my mom has made some accompanying promises. Things would be arranged so that I could be back home each weekend. Theoretically, most people I know wouldn't be able to tell that I'm gone. I could still make it to parties, D&D sessions, and dates. But for some reason, it would make a difference. It shouldn't, but it would.

It's a great thing that this decision is being wholly left up to me. It's certainly the hardest decision I've ever had to make, but it's nice that it really is my decision. I don't know how I'm going to make it; most of my life I've strived to be as rational as possible in every way, but I recently realized that's never helped me make a decision. My best decisions have almost been all instinct-based, which is terrific, except when I'm completely conflicted about something.

I've got a few other options, but the two branches are that I either stay here or I move seven-and-a-half hours away to Canada. But another really nice thing is that my parents have promised me that if I do decide to try the UOttawa thing, and it doesn't feel like it's working for me after the first semester, they're fine with me dropping it and doing something else. Really, most everyone's been hugely supportive of me. It's a hard decision, but it's being made as soft as possible, and I'm appreciative of that.