Decision/vacation

Two Fridays ago I went down to Washington D.C. to get my student visa and maybe do a little sightseeing. As it turned out, both my mom and I forgot a couple of crucial documents that rendered the trip impractical. However, we did get to go on an insider's tour of the Capitol Building, and that was very cool.

The day after that we went to the Philadelphia Zoo. It was a little more boring than when Rachel and I went, it was hotter out and the animals seemed more lethargic and depressed. The good thing is that I had brought my real camera along and was able to take many pictures. I did go up in the Zoo Balloon for the first time. Normally I have problems with height, but I seem to be able to deal with that in most situations. Overall it was a pretty good day.

Then the next day I was coerced into going up to Canada to my mom's new place to supposedly help her move some books. The drive up was pretty heinous, we left about seven hours after we were supposed to and didn't get in to our hotel until four in the morning. The days we spent in Ottawa I mostly spent on my own walking around the city, mostly on the Trans Canada trail.

Sometime within these days I finally came to a decision on whether or not to go to Canada for school and attend the University of Ottawa. It wasn't an easy decision to come to, as one can imagine, and I really did put a lot of thought into it, and talked to all my closest friends about it. In the end, I came to the conclusion that yes, UOttawa would be a great academic opportunity, but in every other way it would be bad for me.

So, I'm not going.

We're still figuring out exactly what my options are for staying here. I'll probably move in with my dad, but school-wise, things are still hazy. I might do what I did last year, or I might go into a traditional school to finish out senior year, or maybe something else. It's an ongoing discussion.

I had to decide against going, though, and after I did I was amazed that I considered going to be a serious possibility. Yeah, UOttawa would be good, academically, and probably look good on a college application, but I'd be in another country, eight hours from everything I knew. Rightly or wrongly, I've always placed a huge importance on personal relationships. Being socially isolated in another country, living in an area where a large part of the population is not English-speaking, would be horrific.

Going to Canada would have been, in many ways, the easy decision for me. I'd know exactly what I was doing and what I had to do and where I'd live and all of that. By choosing against that, I've complicated things for myself. I guess I'm really just hoping that I did the right thing. I do feel confident that no matter what, things will work out for me.

Anyway.

Before we left Canada, we went to this place called Parc Omega, this awesome drive-through nature reserve where the various animals actually wander up to your car and you can feed them carrots. It was mostly ruminants, but there were some fenced off bears and wolves too. It was awesome.

Last Thursday I went over to Gabo's to celebrate her birthday. It wasn't a real party, she's going to have a big one next week. This was just so we could hang out. I was a little confused, just because of how my mom had been haranguing me about having to get a lot of work done, but I'm not really complaining. We had a good time.

The next day I got in the car with Ben and began heading down to the Outer Banks. We picked up Gus in Virginia and stayed in a motel over night. The next afternoon we arrived. I think we should be getting back Saturday night, so I suppose I'll try to have a trip post up sometime after that.

UOttawa

Matters changed yesterday with the arrival of a package. It seems that while my mom was in Canada, one of the things she was doing was getting my portfolio together and secretly applying me to the University of Ottawa. Despite the fact that admissions deadlines had passed some time ago, I was accepted as a full-time student. If I choose to, I can begin attending classes in the fall. It would be for high school credits, so it would count as my senior year and I'd still be graduating in '08, but it's a great opportunity.

It isn't because of that alone that suddenly makes this a difficult decision. In order to make this a viable option for me, my mom has made some accompanying promises. Things would be arranged so that I could be back home each weekend. Theoretically, most people I know wouldn't be able to tell that I'm gone. I could still make it to parties, D&D sessions, and dates. But for some reason, it would make a difference. It shouldn't, but it would.

It's a great thing that this decision is being wholly left up to me. It's certainly the hardest decision I've ever had to make, but it's nice that it really is my decision. I don't know how I'm going to make it; most of my life I've strived to be as rational as possible in every way, but I recently realized that's never helped me make a decision. My best decisions have almost been all instinct-based, which is terrific, except when I'm completely conflicted about something.

I've got a few other options, but the two branches are that I either stay here or I move seven-and-a-half hours away to Canada. But another really nice thing is that my parents have promised me that if I do decide to try the UOttawa thing, and it doesn't feel like it's working for me after the first semester, they're fine with me dropping it and doing something else. Really, most everyone's been hugely supportive of me. It's a hard decision, but it's being made as soft as possible, and I'm appreciative of that.