Year's End

2007 has been a most messed up year. Probably the most, at least personally. Here's hoping 2008 is a little more stable. Seems unlikely, but it would be nice.

My mom turned up a week and a bit ago. She still hasn't given me the story on what happened, and I'm a little hesitant to ask. I'll find out sooner or later though. I'm glad that she's back, even if I'm mad about other things.

Christmas was mixed. I spent the morning with Rachel and her family, and that was very classic and nice. Then I went with my dad and visited my grandmother in the hospital. I saw my sister and mom there and then we went back to my dad's place.

It was the kind of Christmas it's supposed to be, I guess. Not much emphasis on presents, more stress put on "hey at least the family's together." Aunt Patty and Uncle Chris were there too. Our tree was a series of wreathes hung on the skeleton of a dead potted plant.

I mostly got a lot of books. That works for me; I love books, and I always need more. I also got two mugs, caffeinated chapstick and soap, and a super-awesome guitar that promises to be very good for rock.

My mom also tried to give me her iPhone, and I'm probably the only person who's ever turned away one. It's not that they aren't awesome or fantastic. Partly it's because I'm really happy with my phone, and I'm not ready to move on. Partly it's because I have issues with taking people's old electronics. I actually put my SIM card in it and got it to work and tried it out for a day. The iPhone just isn't for me, not yet.

Feature-wise my w810i is comparable. Opera Mini is completely fantastic and the iPhone can't even run Java apps. I'm also faster with the keypad, data-entry-wise, than with the virtual keyboard. My phone can take video. Maybe after a generation or two I'll be wetting myself to get one.

Yesterday I went to see Juno with Ben and Lindsay. I'd already seen it a week or two prior with Rach, but it's such a good movie I didn't mind seeing it again at all. I felt a little like a third wheel, but it wasn't as awkward as it could have been. It was good to get out of the house, especially with people I enjoy seeing.

Tomorrow I'm going to go play as bassist with Tigers in the Sun (Evan, Ben, and Gus). I've been hoping to get in on the band for a while - my old band replaced me pretty fast, and went Celtic fusion without me to hold them back. I'm hoping for a more rock atmosphere.

New Year's Eve I'll spend with Rachel in some capacity. No definite plan yet, we might go to some party or another. It should be good.

Dec(imate)cember

So! Because I can't help but brag when something in my life gets screwed up.

Friday I drove down to Philly with my mom. I dropped myself off at Rachel's, and the idea was that she'd go on and check herself into a hotel in the city. Not like there aren't plenty. That was about 6:30 PM. That was also the last time anyone spoke to my mother.

Okay, that's not entirely true. But it sounds good and dramatic. Here's what happened.

I enjoyed myself Friday evening, most of Saturday (it was my grandmother's 87th birthday), and even Sunday. Sunday evening, I started to get nervous because my mom was supposed to call me, because we were supposed to drive back up that day. No word from her, and her phone doesn't even ring.

Monday I go in with Rach and sit in a Starbucks for seven hours while she's at school. Still no word from my mom, and I've been getting hella calls from people looking for her. This is the point at which I start really freaking out. I'm missing two tests and I'm supposed to be handing in an essay. Freaking exams are next week. What can I do, thought?

No word Monday. Or Tuesday. Or Wednesday. Or Thursday. Wednesday morning my sister files a missing person's report. I'm called or calling every five minutes by or to my grandmother, my sister, my half-aunt, my godmother, or my father.

Finally, one of us gets into my mom's email and discovers she stayed in a hotel in Maryland, and she bought a plane ticket to Montego Bay (Jamaica). Turns out she doesn't end up getting on the plane, so we're back to square one. She also bought herself a new phone, but she won't answer that one either.

Yesterday, finally, some good news. One of us heard from her shrink that she was in contact with him. He would only tell us that "she is in a safe place" and nothing more. My sister called him a bureaucratic ass, which I'm inclined to agree with. But we can infer from this that my mother is now probably either in a psych ward somewhere or living in a hotel and only communicating with her doctor.

Definitely an improvement.

I've gone through a lot of emotions. Fear, obviously, mass amounts. Anger, again in quantity. I've gone between considering throwing furniture across the room to bursting into tears in half-seconds. The whole situation has been, well, you know, it's just blown.

The timing of it really couldn't have been better. I got thrown over right at one of the most crucial points. She was supposed to start her job (yeah, the one she was supposed to actually start in September) this week. She missed my grandmother's birthday. She picked a time that would achieve the most collateral damage.

But those are angry words. I can't actually say whether or not she picked the time. It's unfair to assume maliciousness on her part. The fact is, I am glad that she's finally getting help. Over the past year, her behavior has been, uh, erratic. Of course, the fact that she finally snapped is completely my fault. I've been the one who's been hardest on her.

Now I'm just trying to pick up the pieces and get on with things. I've been living with Rachel and her family and they've been, well, I don't think I'll ever be able to repay them. They've shown me such a tremendous amount of support that they really didn't have to. I've got a lot I need to try and get done to get my life on track, and I just couldn't do it without them, especially Rachel.

To recap November a bit: Rachel's birthday was good, if quiet. She seemed to like her gifts. The day of my birthday was good, as I spent it with Rachel. As an event it sucked for reasons not worth getting into (boiling down to no one in my family really caring). Thanksgiving was also terrible.

2007 is easily going to go down as the most messed up year in my life. Unparalleled highs and lows. Long and crazy and busy. I hope things settle down a bit, I'm just afraid that the shock of not having a new crisis every week would kill me. No, no I'm not, that would actually be terrific.