Monday, April 14, 2008

More college stuff

At this point, I've heard back from all of the colleges I've applied to. Of the five I applied to, I got admitted to three and waitlisted at two. I'd name names, but that would probably be a little unwise since I want to see how these waitlists play out.

Of the three choices I know I have right now, I have decided which one to put my deposit down for. Earlier today, I RSVPd for the admitted student's thing they have this Friday. It's a good school, and I'd be very happy with going there if the waitlists don't go my way.

Again, I don't want to give too much detail, just in case. I've been surprised and really pleased with things so far. I was really worried about my applications; the only thing not sketchy about my transcript were my admittedly good SAT scores. Besides those, everything I had to show was really all over the place.

I was also lucky to get some excellent recommendations from some excellent teachers. It's unlikely they're reading this, but I really owe them a lot of thanks. It's also lucky that colleges are looking more kindly upon homeschoolers.

Getting that first letter saying I was admitted was a little mind-blowing. The impact of the knowledge that, regardless of what else the mail brought, I would, for certain, be going to college in September really struck me - and still does. Even though I've had some college experience already, I wonder if I'm prepared.

I'm lucky because I know I'll be able to handle the work. I know that, like at previous schools, I'll gravitate to the awesome people. It even looks like I'll be going to a school within weekend-commute distance of Rachel, which rocks. But I've never really lived on my own before for more than a week's time. I've never had a roommate, or had to deal with living in close proximity to a bunch of college "dudes".

Despite all of that, I do think I'm up to it. I'm anxious, of course, and somewhat apprehensive. My mind is naturally drawn to think of all the ways that things could go wrong, and makes the best-case scenario look increasingly unlikely. I know everything will be all right; if the past four years have taught me anything, it's that I can bounce back from a lot. I'd still like the least amount of non-academic strain.

I only have two credits to make up to get my diploma. Graduation is approaching terrifyingly fast. I have some trouble dealing with the feeling of time running out - I do feel like I haven't gotten enough done during high school. I just have to make the most of the next four and a half months and look back on everything that I have accomplished.

Labels: ,

Thursday, February 07, 2008

College post

I finally got my college applications in on the first of the month. It was the super ultra final deadline for most of the places I'm applying to. Actually, it was two weeks late for some, but they had offered me an extension so it was okay. The application process has been pretty interesting and I'm hoping I never go through it again.

I'm not going to go through every step, but I basically did all of the necessary work the day it was due. I hate doing that but that just always seems to happen. I was lucky enough that Rachel came over after school and helped keep me on track. She saved me a lot of stress; if she hadn't been there I probably would have hit submit a few minutes before midnight totally stressed out.

At this point, only one of the colleges I was originally planing on applying to stayed on the list. I'm still so relieved just to have the thing done that I hardly care where I get into, so long as I get into someplace. Of course, I say that now, but I'm going to be a nervous wreck when those envelopes start coming.

It's really taken a lot of my mind to have this done with. Now, maybe, I can get on with all of that other stuff that I have to get done without getting paralyzed by anxiety. That would be pretty nice. I'm done in Pennsylvania staying at my dad's place for a bit and I'm hopinh the environment is more conducive to me keeping it together.

Labels: ,

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Some Macworld '08 Thoughts

Everyone's doing it, so I figured I'd jump on the bandwagon.

First some background. My primary computer for the past six and a half years has been my 500MHz G3 iBook with a 12" screen and something like 768 MB of RAM. Decent enough specs when it came out, but I guess it became officially obsolete when Leopard came out and dropped support for G3 processors.

I have done pretty much everything one can do with that computer - it's run every version of Mac OS X up to 10.4.11. I've done video/photo/audio recording, editing, producing, playing. It's been to several different countries. Its display died, its battery went to 3% efficiency, its motherboard died, and for a few months one summer the spacebar didn't work.

It has a lot of sentimental value, in other words. However, a bit after Christmas I gained possession of a black MacBook. 2GHz Intel Core Duo, 1GB of RAM (not maxed out). And a 13.3" screen. It's too big.

I've had a fair amount of time to try to get used to it, and I've adjusted to the keyboard, I quickly learned to enjoy the two-fingered scrolling, and I'm a big fan of the built-in iSight. But I can't get used to the overall size of the computer. It just seems unwieldy.

There was one thing, and one thing only, that I wanted out of this year's Macworld. I figured, like most everyone else, that they'd release an ultraportable. Awesome, I thought to myself. They'll finally restore the 12" notebook that's been missing from their line-up.

So what do they do? They release the MacBook Air (or AirBook as I'll inevitably refer to it). Thinnest notebook ever. No optical drive. 1 USB port, line-out, and micro-DVI. Okay, I can deal with that. And then the slap in the face.

A damned 13.3" wide-screen display. Exact same as in the MacBooks.

I get that Apple is really pushing ubiquitous media distribution. I understand that they're trying to print money off of movie sales and rentals. But, damn it, what is this?

There are other reasons I'm not a fan of the AirBook (see?). I rip, and burn, a lot of CDs for one thing. Okay, fine, with the $99 USB SuperDrive I could cope with that. I could also deal with the reduced speed and relatively small hard drive capacity. But if it takes up the same amount of space, in most terms, as a MacBook - Why? What would the point even be?

I get it. It's thin. It fits in an envelope. It's also very light. And has some other fancy things in the multi-touch trackpad. No, that's great, I guess. Maybe I just need to see it in person. But I'm not going to notice a difference when I have to use the same size laptop case.

If you find yourself in a situation where, for some reason, thinness is absolutely vital, then okay. Get an AirBook. I just don't see why you would when for less money you can get a MacBook and actually get a faster computer with more capabilities. In my head, thin just doesn't necessarily equate with smaller or more portable.

I'm not addressing things like the optional solid-state hard drive, because I'm not really informed enough to comment. I guess it's supposed to be faster? I haven't really felt hindered by regular hard drives, but maybe some people do.

That was a totally unnecessarily long rant on the AirBook, what with everyone on the internet doing it. Now I'll briefly comment on everything else.

iPhone firmware 1.1.3: I guess it's a good thing. I loaded it onto my mom's iPhone and it's pretty cool. I don't plan on getting an iPhone until it has 3G and can do all of the things that my Sony Ericsson W810i can do.

New iPod Touch software: Irrelevant to me, but I definitely don't approve of the $20 upgrade price. If I had one, I'd immediately shell it out, but I wouldn't like it. The stuff that got added are good additions.

iTunes Movie Rentals: This is also a good thing. I wish you had more than 24 hours to finish a movie after starting it, and maybe that'll change eventually. If I manage to pick up a mini-DVI to video adapter for my MacBook, this could be huge for me. I'm not much into buying movies. When I do buy one, it's a pretty big compliment to the movie. My Netflix account also got cancelled today, so this comes at a pretty convenient time.

AppleTV v.2: I didn't care when the first AppleTV came out, I don't particularly care now. I think the changes they made are good ones, but I still can't see any scenario in which I could be persuaded to get one. If the price were much lower and it was subsidized by commercials or something, that might help, but I probably still wouldn't since there's not really anything I could do with it that I can't with my laptop. High-def means nothing to you when your TV is a 13" TV/VCR combo that you bought because you could plug it into the cigarette lighter in a car.

Time Capsule and the new Airport Extreme: Pretty cool. I'd never buy one unless my current Airport Express mysteriously and spontaneously combusted, but I like the idea. What would be nice is if they released new firmware for the Express so I could just plug a hard drive into that USB port and use Time Capsule that way.

Annnd I guess that's it. I felt pretty let down by the announcements this year, just because I didn't feel like any of them really meant anything to me. A new iLife or something would be exciting because that's something I'd actually end up using. Oh well, there's still the WWDC to look forward to.

Labels: ,

Friday, December 07, 2007

Dec(imate)cember

So! Because I can't help but brag when something in my life gets screwed up.

Friday I drove down to Philly with my mom. I dropped myself off at Rachel's, and the idea was that she'd go on and check herself into a hotel in the city. Not like there aren't plenty. That was about 6:30 PM. That was also the last time anyone spoke to my mother.

Okay, that's not entirely true. But it sounds good and dramatic. Here's what happened.

I enjoyed myself Friday evening, most of Saturday (it was my grandmother's 87th birthday), and even Sunday. Sunday evening, I started to get nervous because my mom was supposed to call me, because we were supposed to drive back up that day. No word from her, and her phone doesn't even ring.

Monday I go in with Rach and sit in a Starbucks for seven hours while she's at school. Still no word from my mom, and I've been getting hella calls from people looking for her. This is the point at which I start really freaking out. I'm missing two tests and I'm supposed to be handing in an essay. Freaking exams are next week. What can I do, thought?

No word Monday. Or Tuesday. Or Wednesday. Or Thursday. Wednesday morning my sister files a missing person's report. I'm called or calling every five minutes by or to my grandmother, my sister, my half-aunt, my godmother, or my father.

Finally, one of us gets into my mom's email and discovers she stayed in a hotel in Maryland, and she bought a plane ticket to Montego Bay (Jamaica). Turns out she doesn't end up getting on the plane, so we're back to square one. She also bought herself a new phone, but she won't answer that one either.

Yesterday, finally, some good news. One of us heard from her shrink that she was in contact with him. He would only tell us that "she is in a safe place" and nothing more. My sister called him a bureaucratic ass, which I'm inclined to agree with. But we can infer from this that my mother is now probably either in a psych ward somewhere or living in a hotel and only communicating with her doctor.

Definitely an improvement.

I've gone through a lot of emotions. Fear, obviously, mass amounts. Anger, again in quantity. I've gone between considering throwing furniture across the room to bursting into tears in half-seconds. The whole situation has been, well, you know, it's just blown.

The timing of it really couldn't have been better. I got thrown over right at one of the most crucial points. She was supposed to start her job (yeah, the one she was supposed to actually start in September) this week. She missed my grandmother's birthday. She picked a time that would achieve the most collateral damage.

But those are angry words. I can't actually say whether or not she picked the time. It's unfair to assume maliciousness on her part. The fact is, I am glad that she's finally getting help. Over the past year, her behavior has been, uh, erratic. Of course, the fact that she finally snapped is completely my fault. I've been the one who's been hardest on her.

Now I'm just trying to pick up the pieces and get on with things. I've been living with Rachel and her family and they've been, well, I don't think I'll ever be able to repay them. They've shown me such a tremendous amount of support that they really didn't have to. I've got a lot I need to try and get done to get my life on track, and I just couldn't do it without them, especially Rachel.

To recap November a bit: Rachel's birthday was good, if quiet. She seemed to like her gifts. The day of my birthday was good, as I spent it with Rachel. As an event it sucked for reasons not worth getting into (boiling down to no one in my family really caring). Thanksgiving was also terrible.

2007 is easily going to go down as the most messed up year in my life. Unparalleled highs and lows. Long and crazy and busy. I hope things settle down a bit, I'm just afraid that the shock of not having a new crisis every week would kill me. No, no I'm not, that would actually be terrific.

Labels: ,

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Changes

Things are going all right up here. My classes are rolling along, I'm doing what I can to stay in touch with people - I don't think my phone's ever seen so much action. Even this weekend passed by pretty easily.

Last weekend was much better, of course. I went down to grab some stuff (just the essential: clothes, a guitar, a bass, and my speaker set) and to see Rachel. Over the next weekends that I go down I plan on diversifying my time so that I don't spend all of it with on person, but this weekend I spent what time I had with Rachel.

Unfortunately, Rachel was sick. I felt really bad for her, since I knew she would have cancelled in other circumstances. As it was, I has a good weekend. We went to the Adventure Aquarium, where I haven't been in many years, and we saw Mirrormask, which was good. It was really good to see her again. Too short a time later I had to go, but I did take something away with me: whatever mild seasonal illness it was that Rachel had.

A question I seem to get a lot is: What do I do up here? The answer is a little disappointing. It's just not that different. My weekends are pretty much the same as they were before I had a girlfriend. There's about as much happening in my neighborhood as there was where I moved from.

The loneliness does get to me, of course. After two full weeks of classes, I've had a total of three conversations. (I think here is where I give a shout-out to Katie, whom I had the longest and most quality of those conversations with). Here's the weird thing: A similar phenomenon seems to be happening to all of the people who I'm closest to.

All of my best friends have told me that this year is feeling really lonely. Obviously, there's a common thread in that for all of them, a good friend moved to Canada, but I think it's larger than that. Maybe part of it is thinking about college. This is the year before the biggest separation most people will know.

Given how senior year has been hyped up since as far back as I can remember, I don't know if people have been grossly misleading, or if things will get better, or if I'm just weird and have weird friends. I'm banking on the things will get better theory. Personally, of course, I am regretful that I'll probably not know what it's like to be a senior. Instead, I'll get to be a college freshman twice. That's not exactly a fair trade, to my mind.

One of the biggest things this has done is made me appreciate what I had and have. It's so very cliche, of course, but nevertheless. Even stranger, and one thing I certainly wasn't expecting, is the feelings of patriotism that have been awakened within me. Here's how that happened.

I'm taking Greek I. I didn't know this, but Greek is a completely insane language. I could rant about that for quite some time so just take me on my word. In one of the more introductory classes my professor was talking about how the accent of spoken Greek changed. He said that the same thing had happened in Canada, too; that if you go to the film archives and dig back a few decades, you'll find that the Canadian accent used to be much stronger. My professor said that it's been highly Americanized. And for the first time, I felt proud, really proud to be an American.

How sick is that?

Labels: , ,

Monday, May 21, 2007

NCACS 07

Before setting outThe morning of Wednesday the ninth I went through my usual morning routine and showed up at school at around the same time as usual. The only difference is that along with my usual bag I had a duffel containing a few sets of clothes, a sleeping bag, and some ablutionary accessories. For, you see, Wednesday morning I departed for the annual NCACS conference (and the second that I've been to), this year to be held in Paoli, Indiana.

Inside of our vanWe got onto the road at around eleven, right on schedule. There were less people attending from my school this year and thus we had only rented two vans, rather than an entire greyhound bus like last year. My van was named "Betty," the other, "Roy." Roy ran into immediate problems, and so our first stop after leaving was at the rental place to trade Roy in for a working van.

We drove on and on and on. To amuse myself between gas station and food stops, I decided to play a game with myself. At each stop, I'd buy one or two energy drinks that I'd never had before, and see how they rated in terms of taste and effectiveness. Since as a rule I am a coffee and tea person, and think that energy drinks are foul, I thought it could well expand my energy-source horizons. The end results of this grand experiment might well make a post for another time. Suffice it to say that I'm mildly surprised and maybe a little disappointed I'm still alive after pouring so much muck into myself (at one point I had the caffeine/taurine/sugar equivalent of four consecutive Red Bulls and then took a nap), and that I don't plan on switching away from whatever I end up brewing in the morning.

Stopping for the nightWe stopped for the night in Ohio, more or less directly on OSU's campus. A friend of a friend of one of the chaperone's owns a tanning salon, and it was in the lobby of that tanning salon that we slept in. I foolishly decided that, since it was rather warm in the lobby, I had found a reasonably comfy rug, and one can never come off as too manly, that it wouldn't be worth the trouble of fetching my sleeping bag from the van. Naturally, at some point during the night it became evident that I had picked a spot directly under the air conditioning vents and the temperature dropped thirty or so degrees. I spent the night curled in the fetal position, alternatively cursing the heavens and lapsing into unconsciousness. At six-thirty we were awoken by someone's cellphone blaring "Eye of the Tiger" as his mother tried to reach him.

Again we drove on and on and on. I drank more energy drinks, we stopped for food, we played more Mad Libs than a sane person could possibly stand, music was listened to. Most notably the epic tale of "Piano Man" got started. I don't clearly recall how it started out, but my friend Fingers and I began to sing it. We decided to go through and write down the lyrics so we could be more effective, a feat that only took fifteen or twenty minutes but the effects of which shall be felt for a lifetime. Fingers isn't much of a singer, and neither am I, but after a couple of times we began hitting the same key more often than not. More than that, as we learned the song, we planted the seeds of obsession in the heads of everyone else in the van.

The main building againAfter a minimal amount of wrong turns and choruses of "are you sure you know where you're going?", we arrived at Lazy Black Bear Farm, where this year's conference was held. The first thing we say driving up were chickens running amidst the underbrush. I didn't know then and I don't know now whether that was a good sign or not. Driving further into the property, it was clear enough that it was going to be a place more unlike what I've seen before, even compared to last year's in Tennessee. The architecture was not unexpected, being half-ramshackle and employing lots of found objects. Everything was designed to complement or accommodate nature rather than go against it.

Unpacking the vansThe vans were parked and people begun erecting tents. I had more or less defaulted into being in the same tent as a teacher and two proto-teachers. Our tent was magnificent; an eight-person tent, it held only four and was thus quite pleasingly spacious. It could have held any other tent in the campground easily. We dubbed it "Waffle Manor." The original intention was "Waffle Shack," but as the sign was being made, I leapt to the conclusion that it was to be "Wayne Manor." Thus a compromise was reached. The jealousy was clear and obvious among the other campers, and a minor rivalry developed between the Waffle Manor and the so-called "Pancake Palace."

OrientationWe milled around, ate dinner, and went to the first night orientation. All that really happened there was a guy stood up and talked a little bit about this year's conference theme: biocracy.
Biocracy
A form of governance in which all life has participation; a concept that recognizes nature as the force regulating the physical universe.
Now, I am not a hippie. I think things like sustainable use are great. I'm genuinely afraid of what the large corporations are doing to this planet. Global warming freaked me out before I saw An Inconvenient Truth. When it comes time for me to buy a car, I'm planning on getting a hybrid or electric if at all possible. I worry about conserving energy. I use unscented hygiene products. Nevertheless, I am not a hippie. I felt out of place at times. I like plumbing, and hot water, and bug spray. I am more than willing to sacrifice a little bit of nature-friendlness in exchange for convenience and/or comfort.

Solar showers blow. That's my main point here. The first day it was overcast out, so I waited until late afternoon for my shower. It was frigid, completely intolerable. I stayed long enough to get the topmost layer of gross off and got out. The next day was sunny and I waited until around eleven, when they ought to have warmed up. It wasn't as cold and I was able to tolerate it for around two minutes, when the slightly-less-than-freezing water ran out. It was miserable. I ended up standing out during the rain to feel better. How I longed to be home and in my shower. Sure, it randomly cuts between blisteringly hot and gaspingly cold, but at least there's variety, and it averages out to a pleasant temperature. Thinking to the moment when I could get into a real shower became a sustaining thought.

The conference this year was smaller than last year. My school was represented in greatest force. Most of the other schools that were there last year were also there this year, and the same school got kicked out before the conference was over for the same reasons. My school was also probably the most recognizable, if only because of our resemblance to a traveling circus. I'm not joking. Everywhere we go, we bring hula-hoopers and jugglers and other kinetically-inclined sorts of things. I'm in the juggling crowd, although I did discover on this trip that I can hula-hoop too. I'm gifted that way, and I contribute where I can.

Zach and Jaron juggleOn that note, one of the highlights of the conference was definitely the talent show. A bunch of my friends went up, to sing or play guitar or juggle or what have you. Other people did, too, most notably to tell an impromptu story that was really quite entertaining. Fingers and I and a few other people ended up going up to sing "Piano Man," and it was epic. Maybe we weren't the most talented singers to go on stage that night (although we definitely were better than some of the other people), but we were for sure the most enthusiastic. I got my friend Audrey to take a video with my camera for me, so that the joy could be shared with more people. Later on Fingers and I realized that we need to sing for this year's Sonic Yearbook, so we're going to try and record some time next week.

I didn't go to any of the workshops at the conference last year and it was the same this year. There were two workshops that sounded interesting. One was on identifying edible flora in the wild, for survival and suchlike, and the other was just called "acoustic workshop." I figured the acoustic workshop would probably just be kids showing up and I was too apathetic to show up to the flora one. Looking back at it I kind of wish I had bothered, but hey, there's no telling how different the wildlife is between here and Indiana. It might have ended up being irrelevant or even dangerously misleading.

Zach and his fry holsterOne of the greatest things about really any trip is getting to know people better and getting to meet new people. Given that I'm an introvert, it's always been the first thing that's been the greatest aspect of an extended trip. I did see my friend Carae that I met last year. She lives in Tennessee so the next time I see her will probably be at next year's conference. Getting to know people better is awesome though. You generally don't get to choose which people they are but I've never regretted it. Being stuck all confined like that will either drive you pretty close together or make you hate each other but I was lucky enough not to end up hating anyone.

I managed to go nearly the entire trip without any great mishap. I avoided leeches, bears, three kinds of ticks, fleas, coyotes, dogs, spiders, mosquitos, chickens, water snakes, and horseflies. I did get scratched by a cat, but cats are jerks. Then, after our van arrived back at school, and I'm walking to get into my own car so I can go home and take that wonderful warm shower, one of my boot laces hooks onto the other boot and I go down on the three feet of gravel between the grass and the car. I took bits of flesh out of my hands and knees. My shower was warm and horrible as I had to clean my wounds. That which I had waited so long for… Spoiled. It was a priceless moment.

Labels: ,

Sunday, April 22, 2007

At the zoo

Tiger and girlI haven't been to the Philadelphia Zoo in over a decade. It was long enough ago that I don't have any clear memory of it. The last zoo that I went to was in China, slightly over half a decade ago. I believe we were primarily there just to get a glimpse of some pandas -- touristy, I know. Overall it was slightly depressing. The whole establishment had a grimy, unloved feel to it. The souvenir shops sold Pokémon figurines, adding a double underline to the "we're just doing this for the money" mentality of the place. I'm glad I went, but I wish it could have been more pleasant. The Philadelphia Zoo is something else entirely.

Queen of the moose blanketHere's how it happened. I was in the city with Rachel, and we had been walking around, trying to think of something to do. We had wandered down by the waterfront, where you can see across the river to Camden. Also visible is the Adventure Aquarium. Only half-seriously, I suggested we patronize it. Rachel thought it was a good idea, but since it was gone six o'clock, it was too late. We left, got some food, had a picnic, and resolved to stop in the next day.

Alligator snapping turtle 1The next day came and it was simply beautiful outside. Warm and sunny, it felt curiously like the first day of summer. Someone mentioned that we had two options -- the aquarium or the zoo. I thought about it. For whatever reason, I've been to many more aquariums (aquaria?) than I have zoos over the years. Maybe they're just more prevalent, I don't know. Based on that, and that it was just too nice outside to be inside, I decided that we should go to the zoo instead. It was one of those rare occasions where not only was I decisive, but I made the right decision.

Red pandaThe Philadelphia Zoo is an amazing place. It certainly helped that the day was gorgeous, the heat and sunniness in perfect moderation, the skies cloudless, the humidity uncommonly low. The lines to get in were long, but moved quickly enough, and were miles ahead better than anything I've seen at a theme park, for instance. Once we got inside, it was surprisingly uncrowded, spotless, and clean-smelling. Right away we were engaged by an exhibit of primates. The whole place seems to be ingeniously designed, so that no matter where you are, or where you just came from, there's something nearby, sometimes already in sight, that you want to see. All the exhibits are tastefully done. There's not the over-abundance of hot dog and cotton candy and crummy souvenir vendors that you normally get every five feet.

RhinoI'm not going to list everything that we saw there. Suffice it to say that even though we spent a few hours there, there was plenty more still to see by the time I had to leave. My attention span never exhausted, a very rare thing for me in really any situation. I took a few photos, but sadly all I had with me was my cameraphone. It's good, as cameraphones go, about on par with the first digital camera I ever owned, but still a poor substitute for a dedicated device. Rachel took a number of photos with her real camera, and here is a link to them.

Go to the zoo, because it's awesome. It seems really clichéd, but it really is fun no matter what age you are. If you can't enjoy it, there's something really wrong with you.

Labels: ,